


Love Me- d.m

by th0tl1ne



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Arranged Marriage, Enemies to Lovers, Eventual Smut, F/M, Forced Marriage, Good Draco Malfoy, Love, My First Fanfic, Slow Burn, Song: Toxic (Britney Spears), Tragic Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-18 03:14:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29361600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/th0tl1ne/pseuds/th0tl1ne
Summary: "Why can't you just love me?""I can't love what isn't supposed to be mine."
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Original Female Character(s)
Kudos: 2





	1. Chapter 1

*asterisks have been placed before triggering scenes.*

Mother once told me that daughters were like flowers: planted profound inside the soggy soil presented to the singing warmth of the sun and watered until indications of a sprout are noticeable. They are then stacked up with a wide scope of enhancements to help it bloom emphatically and into the most stunning perspective of its sort. Time passes as the bloom gradually develops, opening up its petals for the world to gaze at. The flower needs to be the most wonderful, needs to be the best of the best, needs to be a bloom which would make society turn to regard it and give it nothing but praises for its beauty and elegance. The planter did what they thought was best for its posy, regardless of whether it was squandering their fortune on inconsequential nutrients, suffocating it in their best liquids, or sending it off to show lobbies, where it was gazed at by another whos intentions were dark, however, it didn't make any difference how extreme there attempts for flawlessness were because it was all for the best, right?

I surmise that's why I was standing in the fireplace with a fistful of green Floo Powder adhering to my perspiration slathered hand, address of my betrothed on the tip of my tongue as I attempted to slow my erratic breathing. I made a sound as if to speak but failed so instead I moved my attention to fixing my dress as I waited for my nerves to calm before Flooing. It was a gorgeous outfit: the waist of the dress fitting me impeccably as the rest of the thick, green silk streamed uninhibitedly to the ground and the ties of the sleeves lying on a level plane across my shoulders, nonetheless, I felt uncomfortable. The front of the open-necked dress exposed an unnecessary part of cleavage as the hairs on my bare arms stood up in the chilling winter air. Despite many grumblings to Mother regarding my uneasiness, she insisted that it was perfect and I was just being insecure.

If it truly was perfect, why didn't it feel perfect?

My stomach churned as I set myself up for the draw of the Floo, I had eaten only a few bananas in the past couple days since Mother didn't need me to put on any weight and she informed me that the particular fruit prevented wrinkles. I felt inconceivably faint most days and had turned frightfully pale in the previous week, my ribs would project from my skin and my midriff was shrouded in purple wounds from the girdle I was consistently told to wear.

Yet, it was for the best.

"Malfoy Manor" my voice was hoarse and unpleasant as I tossed the powder over my head permitting the flames to immerse and transport me to my destination.

The sounds of laughter and gab echoed through the vestibule of the residence as I landed softly in the new fireplace, not a hair out of place from the journey. White and dark marble wondered all through the home as the enormous crystal fixture hanging above sent yellow strobes of light each conceivable way, however the undeniable hum of Dark Magic managed to stifle any feeling of welcome leaving a strain of uncertainty and danger in the air. Her gut contorted as she felt influxes of hot and cold flushes stew over her timid body, her limbs visibly shook, as her knees threatened to give way.

"Celeste, you took awfully long in arriving. Is everything alright?" Mother asked a bit too sweetly, overlooking my discomfort.

"I'm okay, Mother, we ran out of Floo Powder so I had to refill the pot," I lied, trying to keep my hands still.

"Oh you silly girl, you could have just asked one of the house-elves to do that." She said, sternly, falling for my fib.

"Sor-"

"Enough dilly-dallying, I would like you to meet Mr and Mrs Malfoy."

I turned to face an unusual looking couple, unbeknownst of there presence earlier, watching me intently.

Elegant, poised, pure.

The beautiful woman with a blend of dark and light hair was the first to break the deafening silence as she exquisitely positioned her palm in the air for me to take, "It's a pleasure to finally meet you, dear. I have heard so much about you."

"Legs crossed and bend slightly with a gesture of your head."

I took her warm hand in my own and bowed as Madame Cecile's teachings skimmed to the front of my mind.

"A woman should only speak when addressed and should just say only what is required. Nothing more, nothing less."

"Joy to meet you too, Mrs Malfoy," I reply, clasping my hands before my midsection.

I avert my eyes to her blonde husband who seemed to already be staring at me, trying to discover an imperfection within me. He raised an eyebrow and gave me a stiff nod of approvement before announcing, "Let's proceed to the dining room."

I could have laughed out loud at that. They were going about as though this was a casual family supper when truly they planned to examine the pledge and check whether I was fit enough for their son.

It was bullshit.

Pureblood mediocrity was something I won't ever comprehend. Regardless of the strict lessons Mother gave me against muggle-borns I neglected to get a handle on the reasons why.

Why couldn't we just marry who we want?

We all shed the same blood and whether your parents were magical or not we were all the same.

We were all human.

It didn't make any fucking sense.

Elegant, poised, pure.

We went through the estate at a quick speed, my dress flowing unreservedly behind me, as I scarcely recognized my environmental factors. Ahead of me, Mother and Mrs Malfoy conversated in small whispers and hand gestures as though they hadn't met half a month back and had in fact know one another their whole life. Pathetic. We stopped as Mr Malfoy pushed open two tall oak entryways leading to the dining room.

It was the same highly contrasting marble, which evidently covered the whole house, with another enormous gem dangling from the roof. A long rectangular table was arranged in the middle and a blazing green fire could be seen straight ahead. I didn't have the foggiest idea another strutted into the room until after I was seated beside Mother, Mr Malfoy at the top of the table with his better half at his right. 

A tall, broad and pale man walked over to us aiming to sit inverse me. His hair was a light blonde and was brushed to side however it gave off an impression of being marginally untidy as certain strands fell over into his eyes causing him to take a large veiny ringed hand to brush it away and over his head. His dark shirt clearly flaunted his bulky arms and toned body which I was unable to take my eyes off. His etched face held no demeanour as he arranged himself close to his mum avoided looking my way. There was no other way to say it... he was the most attractive man I had ever seen.

Mrs Malfoy sent her son a small smile as her husband began conversing with my mother. The radiance in her eyes as she softly lifted up her lips indicated the love she conveyed for her child. Mother seemed to have already met him because she continued her incessant babbling without a second glance to his direction. Yet, this was the first I had ever seen him and I was supposedly going to marry him. My head began to throb at the realisation so I decided to tune out the chatter, zeroing in on a little letter etched into the table.

D

**********

I envisioned a small sharp needle sinking into the wood, hauling away a layer of timber, as it moved satisfyingly slow, leaving behind the mark of the letter. My brain reiterates the activity as I relaxed in my seat, appreciating the effect of satisfaction. I take slow deep breaths beginning to release the tension in my body.

But I couldn't stop what came next.

I horrifyingly witnessed my beige wrist replace the wood and the needle transform into a disposable cutter. I tried to diminish the image from my psyche but my body felt as though I had been Stupified. Constrained, I watched the sharp edge, which was held in my left hand, descend onto my skin, slicing it apart causing thick surges of blood to spout out of my forearm. My heart pounded perilously against my ribs, threatening to break them into a million shards, as I watched myself rehash the damage several times relentless of the harm I was causing to myself.

**********

I recoiled when I felt someone touch my shoulder ceasing my torturous mind and I inwardly thanked the person.

"Celeste, are you alright?" Mrs Malfoy asked from across me with a look of concern.

I felt everyone's eyes on me as I endeavoured to recuperate from my eerie recollections, my hands trembled as I felt my hair adhering to the rear of my sweat covered neck. My earthy coloured tints dashed to the male opposite me, our eyes meeting for the first time. His brows were furrowed as he held his gaze, allowing me to explore the depths of his grey orbs. They were beautiful. Shades of blue managed to blend in as the grey gleamed beneath the chandelier making my mouth form into a small 'o' at the effect he seemed to be having on me. They were like pools of silver and I felt myself drowning in the intensity of the colour.

"Celeste..?" Mother said, breaking me from my trance and causing me to divert my eyes away from the blonde.

"I...I'm fine," I reply, sending them a reassuring smile.

As if on cue platters of food appeared before us, my small episode forgotten as their attention shifted to filling our plates with the delicious meals. Discussions proceeded as I quietly nibbled on the chicken trying not to lift my eyes to meet my betroths'.

"We have come to an official conclusion, Draco will wed Celeste in a years time." Mr Malfoy's cold voice rang through my ears.

I lifted my gaze to focus on my fiancé who seemed to do the same. His eyes displaying his emotions freely while his face held no expression.

Surprise.

Sadness.

Anger.

Guilt?

He felt guilty?

His soft pink lips twisted into a pitiful frown as he abruptly stood up, dropping his fork on to the expensive china with a noisy clatter, and stomped out of the dining room leaving behind a thick air of tension. Mr and Mrs Malfoy began speaking in hushed voices with my mother, sending us apologetic smiles yet I barely registered them as my mind was all the while attempting to process the weak sound of Draco's voice as he whispered,

"Sorry."


	2. Chapter 2

The whirls and circles engraved into the woodwork of the overhang of my bed enveloped my vision, as I apprehensively laid on my back, tallying down the hours to my first date. The Malfoys were escorting us to the fireplaces as they apologized for the scene their son had caused when Narcissa enlightened us with a splendid thought; a dinner date for me and Draco. Alone.

It was going to be the most awkwardest event in the history of time.

What the hell were we supposed to talk about? Over one thousand conversation starters passed through my mind: too amicable, too vague, too personal. 

An hour until my ultimate doom. The clock hung on my white wall ticked the minutes away tortuously slow. My mind felt like a decaying body, the skin gradually spoiling away injecting the air with a sickly smell until there was nothing but a skeletal image, a mere remnant of a previous existence. I could feel the anxiety pooling into my bones, sending a cold shiver through my spine as sweat trickling down my clavicle. My hands began to tremble as I felt my heart begin to pound violently, blood surging directly to my head. A panic attack.

I needed to distract myself.

Mother had already gotten me ready hours before the rendezvous with the assistance of her infuriating sister, Aunt Belle, who applied a thick covering of cosmetics on my skin demanding that it was an essential prerequisite for dates. I had picked my own outfit, fortunately; a simple black dress. It touched just above my knees leaving my smooth calves on full view. The sleeves were lacy and covered the full length of my arm and the garment fitted me serenely, showing off my curves without becoming excessively uncovering. My favourite thing from the dim piece of clothing was the little cut on my mid-region loaded up with an expensive frill.

I felt beautiful. 

I wasn't excessively intrigued with my appearance these previous few days however as I gazed at my reflection I couldn't help but admire my looks. High cheekbones dusted with a pink shade of blusher. Doe eyes holding my caramel irises with pride. Thick brown wavy tresses managed to my elbows as they shone strongly under the room light. Delicate facial structure which praised my beige skin. Small sharp nose glittered with highlighter. 

I am beautiful.

I was skimming through a page in an old Witch Weekly magazine, out of weariness rather than pleasure, when the thundering sound of the Floo echoed through the house followed by the sound of Mother calling for me. I looked over my appearance a last time checking for any blemishes and when discovering none I steadily walked to the anteroom on the first floor.

There he stood clad from head to toe in a dark outfit, conversing with my mom in a cordial way, his hair laying messily over his eyes and I realized that I favoured it better as such which was a senseless idea so I diminished of it as quick as it had appeared. I cleared my throat as I approached them, causing them to turn their heads towards me. He scarcely even looked at me before saying, "We best be off then. Nice catching up with you, Mrs Miller." 

"Indeed, have fun, dear." Mother replied before turning to exit the room.

He avoided eye contact as he shuffled uneasily and I began to consider how we would spend the remainder of our coexistences when he was unable to try and extra me a solitary glance. He made a sound as though to talk however instead gestured for me to grab his arm so we could Apparate. The pull of apparition always left me nauseated but in the moment all I could focus on was the inclination of his solid forearm beneath my palm, his veins projected from the dainty cotton sleeve of his shirt. The second my feet touched the soft red carpet of the extravagant eatery he shook off my hand as if he had been stung and sneered while he walked up to the front desk.

The whisper of his voice from a few days ago neglected to leave my brain ever since however it was presently starting to become what it truly was; a simple murmur in a distant memory. He plainly lamented it or perhaps he didn't apologize at all and I had simply imagined it but whatever had happened that night unmistakably didn't make any difference. I was making it a big deal anyway, so what if he apologized, it didn't change the fact that we were being forced to wed one another. 

I walked behind him from quite a distance trying my best to keep up with his rapid pace as we approached the table assigned to his name. We were situated in a far corner away from the, in some way or another, ameliorating sound of babbling. 

I sat down opposite him when I understood why he had picked a seat so distant to other people. He didn't want to be seen with me. An undesirable ache of self-pity made my shoulders droop as I bowed my head, picking at my already raw nail beds. He picked up his menu and started looking over it as a waitress began walking towards us, swinging her hips in a flirty manner.

"Are you ready to order yet?", she twirled a strand of her hair while fluttering her eyelashes down at Draco. He looked up at her and a small smirk took over his face as he saw the way she was looking at him.

"No, not yet," he replied with his deep voice causing goosebumps to rise on my skin.

"Let me know when you are. I will be more than happy to serve you." sending him a wink, she made her way to the other customers.

An unladylike snort got away from me making my eyes extend at the sound I had made. I looked up to see an entertained look etched onto his face however his eyes never left the menu he was for whatever reason so intrigued by. 

"Your mother would have dropped dead if she heard you make that sound." His eyes were still glued to the menu but the glint of amusement in them was unmissable.

"She would've, wouldn't she?" I reply, laughing lightly at the thought of my mother's shocked face.

An awkward silence settled between us as we waited for the waitress to return for our orders. I returned to my previous acts of picking at my cuticles when I began to feel his eyes burning holes into my skull. I lift my gaze to find him staring at me causing my cheeks to turn a light shade of crimson.

"I don't want this," he said, simply.

Despite the sheer vagueness, I knew exactly what he was referring to and it spurred an anger that resided deep within me buried underneath the grace.

"I-" 

"No, let me finish," He raises his hand to silence me and I nod in response. "I always knew this is what would happen but I underestimated how fast time would pass. I wanted to fall in love with a lady not be compelled to put a ring on her fucking finger. Now I have to spend the rest of my life with a woman I barely even fucking know. I need to discover the individual I am intended to really be with and that isn't you. I detest you for being the one I need to wed. You are so pathetic. You can't even have a simple conversation and don't get me started on that little scene you caused the other night. All you want is fucking attention and I refuse to give it to you. Still think you are so elegant? Look at your wrists, your fucking twenty-three and you act so childish. Pureblood my ass. This marriage means nothing to me and I want to let you know that I will continue to find the woman who is truly supposed to be my wife whether I wed you or not. You are just a filthy attention whore and no one will ever fucking love you. Especially me."

His words slapped me across the face. I had expected him to have an outburst sooner than later but this...this was just..horrible. Yet, what I did next astounded me more than it surprised him. I laughed. Not a small respectful giggle I was taught to do, no, I laughed maniacally. I laughed so hard I thought my stomach would burst. Then the words just spilt from my mouth and I had no control.

"You think I want to marry you? Your ego. Your face. Your morals. Your stupid blonde hair. That's what's pathetic. Love is something you build not find. Seven billion fucking people on this planet and you think you can find 'the one'. If it were up to me, I would be across the world away from all this bullshit, but no instead I have to sit here and play happy families with you and your family. You have no clue about how much I have been through to get where I am today and you also have no right to call me childish. I needn't bother with your fucking love. I won't ever require it. What's more, I likewise needn't bother with your attention. I don't care the slightest bit what you do after we get hitched as long I don't need to see your face its fine by me. Just know that you will never find someone better than me. I was born to become a wife. This date is over. Hope you have a pleasant evening."

I stride toward the exit chimney and toss the Floo powder over my head muttering my address, completely missing the smug and impressed look on Draco's face.


End file.
